Car labels

I was grumbling to myself yesterday about the "universal" symbols used on car dashboards for the control knobs, buttons and switches. In an earlier, less-inclusive time when it was assumed that everyone who bought a car in America spoke English and when auto manufacturers could afford to more thoroughly tailor their vehicles to different countries, there were words on the controls. I put "universal" in quotes because that's an alleged function that the little pictures frequently fail to serve. I assume a little circle of fan blades would likely mean that the fan is on in that position. But what does a circle mean? I assume it's zero, but it could also mean an open duct blowing air.

We used to own two cars that used the O on the heating/AC system, but one was a filled-in white O on a dark background, while the other was a filled-in black O on a light background. If I used my wife's car for a day or two, it'd take several days for me to remember what it meant when I got back in my own car. I would figure---logically, I felt---that if it's white lettering or symbols on a dark background, that the symbols are meant to be read as one would normally read black letters on a white background---so a filled-in circle would mean the vent was open (black hole). But on one of the cars (and to this day I don't remember which) that meant it was closed.

It becomes even more of an issue when the symbols are tiny. A miniature "wave" that means airflow is on may become clear to a car owner after a few weeks of driving his or her own car--then the controls become second nature. But what about the person renting an unfamiliar car? Or the guy borrowing his brother's truck for a day? He goes to turn on the fan while driving, glances down, and sees some sort of horizontal shape but can't make out what it is.

I decided yesterday that at some point I might print up little labels on sticky, durable paper that I could mount over the annoying little symbols. They would say understandable things like RADIO ON, RADIO OFF, FAN HIGH, etc. And then it struck me: why don't car companies do that for us? It would hardly cost anything to add a sheet or two of durable, self-stick plastic labels with words in several languages. They could be waiting in the manual that comes with the car. A chart showing where each tag was to be placed on the dashboard and/or doors would be right on each sheet; thus, one would have the option of seeing words on the dashboard. And if you sold the car at a later date to someone with a different primary language, the new owner could stick different labels over the first ones.

Savvy dealers could even ask each customer if they would prefer words, and if so, would offer to install those words before the new owner took possession.

Maybe they could even provide the option of different lettering styles. I could see a funky font in a Kia Soul, or a cool italic style in a Mustang, or Old English in a Mini or a Rolls. They could even be made available online to print out yourself--although cutting the little shapes would be annoying.

One current option that I see is to use an old Dymo label maker--one of those gun-shaped devices that punches raised letters on a strip of self-adhesive plastic. But that would look tacked-on and tacky, and I still prefer incoherence over distractingly ugly.

So I guess I'll just continue to turn the O up to .... when I'm too hot.